> 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

Sort of, never had the smoking type. My Christmas Chacktus is in
flower 🙂 (I should look up the spelling of that but I wont)

>
> 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
>

Whats a twin bed?

>
> 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
>

Sadly true.

>
> 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
>

Never, 7:50 is when my alarm goes off, if i feel like it I can be at work
at 9am

>
> 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
>

No never

>
> 6. You watch the Weather Channel.
>

Only when my work building is under a foot of water and I am wonder if the
diesel generators on the roof are still running (which they didn’t)
something about the tanks in the basement and an electric diesel pump not
liking being under water.

>
> 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
>

They are getting married don’t know any that are divorced yet.

>
> 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
>

I have 180 hours of vacation, does that count?

>
> 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up”.
>

I just wear a skirt when I dress up.

>
> 10. You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next
> door
> won’t turn down the stereo.
>

nope never

>
> 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
>

I grew up with Black Adder and Billy Connolly. enough said

>
>
> 12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
>

I stopped caring about that when the dropped the only veggie thing I
liked.

>
> 13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
>

Payments are zero and my car issuance did go down, just a little

>
> 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers..
>

Don’t eat macdonalds, haven’t for ten years.

>
> 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
>

I never used to sleep the on the couch

>
> 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
>

Shouldn’t that be you now take naps from noon to 6PM?

>
> 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of
> one.
>

Depends what you do after the movie 🙂

>
> 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00AM would severely upset,
> rather
> than settle your stomach.
>

Chicken no, cold pizza is still good

>
> 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
> and
> pregnancy tests.
>

Mmmm condoms were still on my list along with pringles and ice cream.

>
> 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff”.
>

Ok you got me on that one.

>
> 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
>

I think this is an american thing.

>
> 22. “I just can’t drink the way I used ” replaces, “I’m never going to
> drink
> that much again.”
>

Hah, never, well maybe.

>
> 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
>

You are talking to the uber geek. Ask me what I spent Saturday morning
doing. It wasn’t watching tv.

>
> 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
>

Nope, Wait isn’t that something you used to do as a poor student?

>
> 25. You’ve read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
> doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass..
>